I'm feeling pretty good today. I had a strange and disturbing dream last night, though. And I think I had low blood sugar this afternoon but those are my biggest complaints.

I work another 12 hour shift tomorrow. I really hopeI am able to transfer to daily living skills so I can either have saturdays off or only work the short shifts.

Im officially "med certified" now. Bummer. I don't want to pass meds. The only good thing about being able to pass meds is that it gets me out of giving baths for an hour.

I'm so tired. Dleep might be a good option.

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Life will go on and tomorrow will come

I have had a rotten day. I was supposed to be to work at 9am this morning, but woke up 8:30 because my alarm didn't go off. I need at least 20 minutes to get to work on time. Ended up leaving at 8:45... Then I got stuck behind this street cleaner thing that wouldn't go over 20mph, and frequently dropped down to 15mph. When I am finally able to pass it, I get to hwy 6 to find that they are putting down new asphalt and won't let anyone drive over the road, and they told me I had to find a new route.

I started crying because by this time it was 8:55 and my destination, if I could only have crossed over 6 was just a few miles down the road and the only alternative route I knew of was to take hwy 49, and the only way I knew how to get to it was to go all the way back up to the area where I live and go from there. Well, I didn't do that. I turned around and went to the next possible turn and took my chances of being totally lost. It turned out okay, but I was about 10 minutes late for work.

So I get there and find out that my coworker the only other person who was supposed to be with me until 3pm, called off. Annette did find someone to come in for a few hours, and she was a huge help, but I was still by myself with the guys for the majority of the day.

So I worked my butt off to make sure we wouldn't end up being behind on anything at 4pm when my other co worker was supposed to be.

During this time when I bathed, cooked for, fed, changed undergarments for, washed clothes, changed bedding and cleaned house for 6 men, my brother came to get my car to take it to this place to find out why I have a check engine light on. I don't even remember what he said thee problem was, but it should cost about $50 for the part, and he is gracious enough to fix it when ever I can buy it.

So, at 3pm, I am supposed to have care tracker done (care tracker is... it shouldnt need explaining as its pretty self explanatory) so I start at 2:15 trying to get it done when I realize, the internet isn't working and we can't do care tracker with out it and we get write ups if care tracker doesn't get done. So in the must of e trying to figure out what I'm going to do there, one of the clients yells for me and when I walk into the room I see a second client leaning over the coffee table with his head in his hands sobbing hysterically.

I do my best to comfort him, make a failed attempt to call my manager and finally call another group home, ask them to sign in for me and do care tracker over the phone.

At 2:45, I throw dinner in the oven and then set about finishing getting the guys showered, cleaning up the house, do tube feedings, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Around 4 my other coworker showed up, and could not believe how much I accomplished by myself. The rest of the evening was okay until I finished my 12 hour shift and got in my car to find that the AC is not working and is in fact blowing out hot air.

I have been exhausted physically and emotionally and frustrated and I was incredibly tempted to run my car into a tree.

But obviously, I didnt. When I had that thought it startled me. I was like omg, its not the end of the world , frustrating, yes, inconvenient, absoultely, but where did that thought come from? I could take a wild guess.

So anyway, that was pretty much my day.

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What do you when you get a day off?

Well, if you are like me, and your day off is a Tuesday, the day after independence day, you will call some friends and go to the beach.

Sadly, I can not swim as I would desire. The MRSA is practically controlling my life. Ojay, not controlling, but it would be a bad decision to go into lake Michigan with two gaping holes on my torso. Reinfection, spreading the infection, and passing on the infection.... Not good things. But I can enjoy the sun and I can wade in the water, and I can sit in the sand and read the CS Lewis book or the commentary on 1 Corinthians that I got from the library. And that is exactly what I plan to do.

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A whole lot of... something.

I think I shouldn't wait until I have a ton of stuff to write about before I write. Everything just builds up and up and then it gets to the point of overwhelming to write about.  But is that going to stop me? Probably not.

1.  My staph infection has been confirmed as MRSA.  It is healing quite nicely. My skin is a little bit raw from the tape for my bandages, and it's starting to itch and peel (and get sores because Im scratching the raw area), but I'm doing what I can to prevent the infection from spreading. I'm slightly bothered that it is MRSA, and I'm extremely bothered by the response that I'm getting from Opportunity Enterprise.  One of my co-workers estimated that one in ten people at OE have MRSA, yet they insist that I probably got it from somewhere else.  Possible, I know, but I was directly exposed to it at OE on a daily basis and unless or until it can be proven otherwise, I believe I got it from OE.

2. Living in the apartment with my cousin went from being something I wanted to do, to something I have to do.  My parents got a letter in the mail addressed to our landlord or current resident stating that the property tax has not been paid. And I'm confused about everything inbetween, but the bottom line is that my family needs to move.  Even if the property tax were not an issue. Someone sent pictures to someone that show different parts of the house, and my parents got another letter addressed to our landlord or current resident about the condition of the roof that demands it be repaired or a fine will be imposed and the resident vacated from the property. There were even pictures with the second letter detailing the proof.  I personally think the neighbors on our left, the construction  restoration business is behind it. I've seen people looking at the house and talking and pointing at different parts of and then walk back over to the business. I went inside and told my mom about it the day it happened. But I am 99% convinced it was them.  So.... My family is being forced out.  My reaction?  Mixed.   Im thinking, finally, something to get them out, I'm upset that they MAYBE have until August to find something.  And if I'm right about the neighbors being behind it, I think that was a crappy thing to do. 

Oh, and by the way, my apartment has no water or electric because the bills were behind from the two months my cousin was unemployed and we are trying to get her caught up on the rent she was behind in just so we can stay in the apartment. We have to pay $90 for water and just over $300 for electric to get them back on... I'm sure it will get caught up because I'm helping her now, but until then... yeah.

3. Okay, so I was reading a Proverb the other day and in the Bible i'm borrowing there are these devotional-like things in a blue box in the margins, and I read through both of them. One talked about who you are trying to please and another one talked about the dangers of the love of money. Both of them were connected to the Proverb I read. But I thought about them and about the excuses I made for working at Opportunity Enterprise and not having a day off. I don't want to screw-over my co-workers, I don't want to make my manager angry, it gives me more hours and I could use the overtime anyway.... Well. I was forced to face my excuses for what they were, and that night I prayed for the strength to do what I felt I needed to do, which was to tell my manager that I can no longer work on Sundays.  I didn't pray for her reaction or anything like that, because I just expected the guilt trips and the manipulations, I just prayed for the strength to do what I knew was right despite the reaction I expected.  

So... Saturday I asked to talk with her privately in her office and when we were ready, we did.  I started out telling her that I appreciated the work she put in as manager, and I told her I noticed she gave me Tuesday off and that I'd been wanting a day off that I don't work for either Club or OE and that i really appreciated that I'd gotten one.   I then told her that I feel like I have been extremely generous with my schedule where I could be and that I have had to give up a lot things when I came to work for OE,the most important being the weekends that I spend with my friends, my Monday night group, and the church I attend on Sundays.  I told her about my involvement with Life Bridge and my desire to be a part of it again, because I don't really feel connected.   I also told her it was a difficult decision for me to come to, because I don't want to screw up anyone elses schedule, but I need my Sundays, and started next week (because the schedule was already made and I wanted to honor the committment) I would like to have Sundays off.  

My manager suprised me at this point. She didn't try to give me a guilt trip, she didn't try to talk me out of it or make me feel bad about it. She simply asked me if I needed my schedule to change anywhere else, I said no, everything else can stay the same, and she said, no problem and wrote down that i'm off on Sundays on sticky note and stuck it by her computer.

Then she suprised me again and thanked me for coming to her and telling her how I was feeling about my job and about my schedule and that she feels like I have come a long way from when I started working there two and a half months ago and that she appreciates what a help I have been to her and the house I work at.

We talked about a few other things regarding the house and I went back to work, but I walked away from that conversation feeling good about it and absolutely thrilled that she was so receptive about what I had to say, because I've walked away from many other conversations with her feeling the exact opposite.

Anyway.  That's where I am right now.