This has been a very hard semester. There has been a lot that has been going on, too much going on.
But it's all going to change because i've made my decision. I talked with mom and dad and we made the decision together.
I've filled out the paperwork, I've talked with almost all of the necessary people, I got the signatures I need, did my exit internview, and I'm packing up and getting ready to check out... There's a lot to do before Thursday. (Mom and Dad have arranged to pick me up on Thursday at noon).
It's overwhelming because people keep asking me questions, asking me why... and I don't want to answer anymore questions. I don't want to talk about it to anyone anymore.
I had to get 7 signatures and each person asked me why I'm leaving. On the paper I filled out, I had to put my reason for leaving. Each time I just wanted to say "What's it to you?"
I've tried to tell the few friends here that I'm semi-close with that I'm leaving and they objected, got teary eyed, and then insisted that we have to have one last hurrah before I go home. I'm not going to make the claim that it's nice to know I will be missed because I know that next week when I'm gone, their schedules will resume like normal and it will be as though I was never here.
I just want to disappear. I want to slip from the memory of this school as though I were never here. I don't want people to ask what happened to me or where I am or why i'm leaving.
One of the really good things that have happened is that both my advisor and the academic dean for the youth ministry program were very understanding and let me go with blessings. I don't know if they saw it coming or not, but I've kept in touch with them almost everything that has happened this semester.
By the way, I'm not planning to become a country music star. I've just been threatening to drop out of school and become a country music star since I was a freshman, so I thought the title would be fitting. :-)
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