I found out that I will be touring in the northwest states. IE Oregon, Washington, Montana, etc. My partner is going to be a girl named Michelle. (The same returner that I went to Northern California with this past week).
On Friday I went to Santa Monica with a few people and I got to see the ocean for the first time in my life. While we were looking at it, I told the people I was with that I wanted to touch it, so we went down to the shore and waded in the water. It was great amazing cool fun.
I am so excited about being where I am right now because i feel like I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel like God has me here for a reason. I don't know what that reason is or where God is going to take me, but I feel so much closer to Him. I feel alive. I'm finally begining to feel like I am where I belong. And ironically, that is in no set place. Haha, travelling jobs....
Working with Camfel these past two weeks has been amazing for my relationship with God. There has just been so much of Him and so little of me and I feel like our relationship is better and I understand him a little more.
There will always be pain. There will always be suffering. There will always be days when I feel like I've been abandoned by God and that there is no hope in life, I don't doubt that. But I'm seeing myself able to cling to God despite that. I see myself being able to be more honest with myself about who I am and more honest with others. I truly feel like I'm am being transparent and unashamed despite the fact that I am not a perfect person.
God has been working on me while I'm here. Today I know that He loves me and I feel so much in love with Him. He is here and He is present and as I'm walking through the hardest times of life He is calling my name and saying, "Amanda, focus on me"
Well. It's time for me to give the computer back to Katey. I wish I could write more because there is so much more in my heart that I want to say.
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