I'm seriously considering moving out of my house. I know that has been my desire since I have been here, but despite the fact that I don't have anywhere to go, I dont feel like I can stay here any longer. I hate being here, so I don't want to do it anymore. I hate the fact that people don't respect my space.What a joke of a space anyway. I live out of a suitcase that sits on top of the kitchen table.
...
I suppose I could sit here and make a list of all the things I hate about being here. But I've already done that in countless blogs that I don't pulish. I just want out. I want things to change, I don't want to be so dependent on my family. Maybe thats what I need... to become less dependent on my family. Would it be an exciting adventure or a foolish mistake to move out?
I certainly can't afford my own apartment. I can't just up and live with someone else because that would defeat the purpose of leaving my home here. I have no where to go, but yet I seem to have everything I need.
I have reduced my stuff so much that I can simply put it all in my car.
I can shower at cardinal fitness.
I can do laundry at the laundromat.
I can charge my phone while I am at work.
I have coolers to store some food as long as I don't need to keep anything really cold, plus I have options to eat meals with friends.
I can sleep in my car. The doors lock, I have blankets, and I could easily make it so that people cant see into my car. I can park my car in Walmart parking lots.
And maybe by winter I will figure something out. I know that I can't live through out the winter in my car, otherwise I might die, but the summer... I think I could do it in the summer.
I would be out of my families hair, and no one else would have to know. It's not like they know whats going on now anyway, nor does it seem like they would really care.
Maybe doing this would be a God-opportunity. I don't know how or what the benefit would be. I've been reading this book called In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day. It has been a good and interesting read. It talks about this guy, Benaiah, who wrestled a lion in a pit on a snowy day and came out victorious.
Why would anyone do something like that. What foolishness.... But that's what the book is talking about, where there seems to be foolishness, there is instead God's providence. You never know what opportunities might arise in the future because of what seemingly foolish thing you do now. How much of a food Noah must have seemed to the people around him. Who knows.
I remember in college there was a guy who spent a semester living on campus, but not in the dorms. LOL
Calvin. I remember at first I was put off that he was doing that, but then I actually kind of admired that he did that. It's kind of revolutionary. He didn't mooch off of anyone or anything. He was simply there living. I respect that. A lot.
I want to step out of comfort for a while. I know it probably seems weird to say I want to step out of comfort when I am complaining so much about living with my family. But that's not the point. The comfort factor is that I am so reliant on my parents. I have never been out on my own. Except maybe during the time that I had worked with Camfel Productions, but even then I had a company credit card that I used whenever there was a problem like the van breaking down or if my tour partner and I had to stay in a hotel.
It's time to cut the umbilical cord.
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