Anxiety relief anyone?

I've been feeling anxious. I'm not 100 percent sure all why I'm feeling anxious, but I am.  I credit some of it to work.  I found out today that Sheffield lost two of their full time staff.  While this can be a good things for me, it can also be very overwhelming for me.  I told Sheffield I am available Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.  They've been using me maybe once a week, sometimes twice. Now that two full time staff are gone, they are likely going to start using me all three days.  While this is good for my paycheck (and actually quite needed right now) it is also a bit overwhelming with everything else I have going on.

I want to go to VCC on Wednesday evenings. I like going, I enjoy meeting new people, and I feel like I'm being challenged there. But this week I may have to skip because Wednesday was the only day I could give to train the people I invited to be a part of the Out on a Limb team for Life Tree Cafe because I can't be there on Tuesday when they are doing the make-up training since it was cancelled last Friday (not to mention all the preparations I need to do for it). And then there's the next Life Tree training on Friday so it cant be done that day either, and I may be working this Thursday evening, I'm waiting on the schedule from Sheffield.  

My schedule just feels too full and for someone who likes to be spontaneous and have the freedom to decide to stop and help someone shovel their car out of the snow like I did tonight without fear of being late (growing up I was punished quite severely if I was told to be home at 8 and I showed up at thirty seconds past 8. so even though I still show up late to things, I hate it!) so for me, this is a nightmare!

But I guess the good thing is that once I get used to the roles I will be playing with Life Tree, and if I make sure Sheffield only schedules me on the days I said I was available, and all that other stuff I don't want to think about right now, then it will be bearable, and even enjoyable, but until then... I will have to do a lot of praying, or just feel anxious. I think mostly, though, is that there is a fight going on between necessity and desire in my schedule.  I want to do one thing, but I have to do another, and the two things overlap so I have to choose and necessity is going to win.

So, maybe it's not so much the full schedule that bothers me, but perhaps, having to choose necessity over desire makes me feel like I don't have control. (please no comments about how much control we really have anyway, now is not the time for that).

But I still feel anxious about something else, and I don't know what it is.

Well, with that being said, for me to wake up on time and not feel exhausted, I should have gone to bed half an hour ago, so I'm out.