Love is not easy.

Responding in love is not easy...especially when you've been attacked by a person... and regardless of the means they used to contact you. Especially when all you want to do is is respond to the person and tell them you don't appreciate their attitude and then proceed to tell them why all their complaints don't apply to you, while making snide remarks that hide insults in them.

But I didn't do that. I promised my roommate that if she had something that she needed to talk to me about, instead of replying defensively, I would hear what she has to say and try to understand the heart behind it.

But then I was surprised when I actually did.  And of course, when I take the focus off of myself, I see I don't think my roommate sends me and my other roommates texts like she did because she is trying to start a fight or attack me personally, but because she is simply frustrated over something, regardless of how much or how little it applies to me personally, and she doesn't know how to communicate it, so when an issue does come up, it builds and builds and builds until it comes out in this huge emotional upheaval of anger and frustration, and other emotions.

And though she's not trying to start a fight.... she is prepared for one.  So what is the best response?

I remember immediately Proverbs 15:1 A Gentle answer turns away wrath, but a hard word stirs up anger.  (you could even go into verse 2: The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly).

And I've been studying the book of 1st John this whole month and I've probably read through it 30 times. But There is so much in it about love... how we know God abides in us, how we know we love God, or how we know we are children of God, is in the way we love.  So instead of replying defensively, as I have, sadly, done before, I thought about what it was that she needed right then when she sent the text, and the fact that she has been working the midnight shift for 3 days now and I simply texted her back and said: "I hear you, and I respect your thoughts."

But then, as it would go, I continued working through the evening at the group home and I started to feel some compassion toward my roommate.  In all truth, most of the stuff she texted really didn't apply to me at all, but I began to feel a prodding to respond not only in word, but in action.

1st John 3:18 says Let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

So I looked at her text again, and I noted some of the things that she mentioned specifically frustrated her, so I went out and bought her stuff that she claimed got used up, and I came home and I spent the evening washing and loading the dishwasher and vacuuming and sweeping.

So like I said, responding in love is not easy.  Love means sacrifice.  Love means I had to consider someone besides myself. Love means I had to ignore my thoughts about what I do or don't do and realize that for this moment, what she needed was for someone to hear her needs and respond to them. Love means sometimes a person is more important than my immediate need (like sleep, haha), or my busy-ness (sigh).

And I'm not capable of loving on my own. I wish I was better at it.