Reflections from birthdays passing

So, it's been a while since I've written anything on my blog.  Maybe I should do that today.   I just feel like writing something.

Today... well, technically yesterday now, I guess, I celebrated my birthday.  Birthdays and new years always seem to force me to take a moment to reflect on things.

You know, I've now had 29 years to figure things out in my life and I feel just as lost today as I did when I graduated high school nearly 10 years ago.   This weekend was supposed to be my 10 year high school reunion.  I wanted to go but at the same time the last thing I wanted to do was show people I barely remember how much of a failure I feel I've become.... and how much weight I've gained.  

By my own standards (you can debate the influence of my standards on your own time),  I wanted a degree, and a career, and a husband, and children... or at least be with child by now.     By my own standards, I'm a college dropout, who has yet to demonstrate the ability to hold a job for more than 3 years, dating the first serious boyfriend I've had since 9th grade.... and children?  That's not really on the radar yet.

But I'm okay.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a little bummed and I have days when  I feel like a failure, but I'm still pushing to figure things out, and I think as long as I've got that going on, I will see a day when I don't feel so lost. At least I hope so.

Sunshine makes me happy, but then again, so does snow.

Well, I suppose I am due for an update. Right now I am in Santa Clara, CA (San Jose, too) at the Hilton Inn (ooh la la, God Bless Priceline.com).  I saw New Moon tonight, and though I have the regular complaints people who read books before they see the movies have, I thought it was actually pretty decent, which I thought was hilarious considering everyone else I know seemed to hate it. It was okay.  I don't think they will ever capture the true dynamics of Edward and Bella's relationship, but oh well, right?
After I saw it though, I kind of regretted it a little because I remember how I felt after reading the book, and i don't want to open up that can of worms again.  Well, too late.

Anyway. Things have been going well. My tour in the Northwest with Camfel Productions is coming to an end, so my tour partner, Michelle, and I are heading back to the Los Angeles where the office is until the company makes a final decision on what they are going to do with us.  I would love to say what they're considering, but since it's still up in the air, I wont.  I am pretty sure though, that I will tour the midwest next semester, and that my new partner will be Katey. :-)  The tour will start later though, like January 25th or 26th, so i will have an extended break. Yay!

So... November 18 was my older brother's Birthday (Josh). He turned twenty-five. November 18 also happened to be the day my nephew Dominic was born! This is Eric's son. (Paternity test pending?)

In other news I've had another dream about my cat that dissappeared back in July. I dreampt that my mom found her in Iowa and brought her home, but then she got out of the car and disappeared again. It made me sad. I cried and the whole day I felt depressed.

I love moments by myself where I can sit and be quiet. Maybe I'll take some time to be still and know that God is God tomorrow (or today, since it's after 1am here)

That's all for now.

Birthday's and Good Ideas

Happy Birthday Andrea!!!
Andrea's birthday was on the 15th.

Happy Birthday Josh!!!
Josh, my brother, his birthday is today.

and Happy Birthday me... in 10 days. My birthday is on Black Friday.

On another note:

What a great idea:

"Several Valparaiso churches are banding together in an effort to provide emergency shelter for homeless men. This is a major undertaking, so we began with a ?test run? in February and March of 2008. Now we are taking the knowledge gained from this pilot project and developing a program to run from the beginning of October 2008 to the end of March 2009. Each night, the men are provided with dinner, a place to sleep, breakfast, and a sack lunch. They sign in from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm and leave by 7:00 am. The location rotates among the different host churches, with each church taking one night of the week. This allows us to express hospitality using already existing facilities, while not overburdening any one church. Men in need of housing can simply come to the appropriate site (with ID) to be admitted."

http://www.valpochurches.org/shelter/