Another Face lost in the Crowd, Another soul too jaded to hang around....

Okay, let me be blunt.  After talking with a friend tonight about church, I realized that there are so many things about Life Bridge that I love, but relationally, I feel like I'm starving.

Let me be clear. This is not a new feeling. I don't have these feeling just because I spoke with my friend tonight who Pursued a Different Church Body for exactly that reason.   I spent the first few years at Life Bridge going back and forth to College. If there was a relational disconnect, I was not in a place that I would have been too concerned or noticed. But then... After I left Bethel and started going to church consistently, I was looking for those relationships and I didn't find a lot of them.

Then slowly, one by one people started being called to other churches, the few people I had relationships with, over this past few years started leaving.

So in 2009, I left to work for Camfel Productions and really felt the disconnect. I tried to stay connected to Life Bridge, sending post cards and letters... Tammy called me, and Becca wrote back to me, but I was otherwise unheeded. Out of site out of mind.

I've disconnected since then.   I've gone through incredible depression, loneliness, and junk that hasn't changed much, but I've been trying so hard to feel connected and right, and while things have  improved slighly in my own mind, and with my small group. I still feel terribly disconnected.

The thing that talking with my friend did do, was give me the mind to start praying about whether God wants me to stay at Life Bridge or seek fellowship (ultimitely relationships) somewhere else.

I will admit I have searched other churches online. The thing is that there is so much I love about LifeBridge that I don't want to give up. But I want more an idea of nurturing relationships, I want the practice of it and it's exhausting when you try to be relational and no one responds.

I wonder if this is the struggle my friend  Josh had/is having.

So I will continue to pray.

The journey of a thousand mile begins with... Camfel Productions!

Okay, the plane ticket has been bought so I guess it's official enough to blog about now. 
I am not coming home early even though my tour is done right now. I am going to stay in Irwindale (probably doing office work and local/Northern Cal shows) until December 19. Then on December 19 I will fly to South Dakota where my tour partner for next semester, Katey, will pick me up from the airport. I guess we will finish up the tour in South Dakota on Dec. 23, then make a 14 hour drive (or split it between the 23rd and 24th) back to my house where my parter will drop me off then drive another four hours to her house to be home on December 24th.
Then on January 24th, she will pick me up at my house and we will start our tour in the MIDWEST!!!! Woohooo!!!! Our first show will be in Illinois. Works for me. :-)

So guess what! Yesterday, I went to a Chinese church. :-) Michelle and I are still in the San Jose/Santa Clara area and so Saturday night I was looking for a church and I found one that sounded cool. It was called River of Life Christian Church. The website had Mandarin Characters on it but it was also in English and had an English service so i thought, "Cool".  Then Michelle and I showed up and all we saw were Chinese people and Michelle mused aloud as to whether we would be the only white people there.  We weren't. There were like... 4 others, but I thought it was an incredibly neat experience to go to this church. I think it had over 1000 people there. I kind of wanted to sit in the service where the preacher was speaking mandarin (I'm kind of afraid i'm saying/spelling that wrong) just to see how different the worship style and service style is.
Anyway, while we were in the English service they asked all the new people to raise their hand, so I did and everyone came and greeted Michelle and I and shook our hands and gave us a welcome packet. I loved how friendly they were, and I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable being one of the few "white" people in the midst of so many Asians. It was AWESOME!

Well, that's all I have for an update today. :-)

Every now and then when I get the chance to slow down a bit, I stop and think about all the things I miss back home.

I miss seeing my family every day. I love my family. I miss my parents. I miss my brothers.I'm sad that I'm probably going to miss the birth of Eric's baby. I'm sad that I don't get to help Brandy plan her wedding or be there when it takes place. I'm sad that I won't get to go to Thanksgiving Dinner where half of my family get's together.

I miss going to Life Bridge every Sunday. I love my church family. I miss the Bridge Builders group and the student Ministries. I miss doing Project Valpo. I'm sad that I am missing out on what the church is doing, because I believe so much in the vision of Life Bridge. To empower one more to walk together with Christ.

I miss Bethel College. I miss taking classes and learning. I miss my old classmates. They were some of the most amazing people I knew. I'm sad that I don't have my degree. And it saddens me that God may not have it planned for me to finish my degree.

I don't know where God wants me in this life. I am absolutely clueless as to where He is leading me or what His plans for me are. I don't know if I will ever go back home to Valpo, or if I will ever finish college, or if I will move somewhere else or travel, or if I will marry, or if any of the plans I had before now will ever come to be.

Right now I have no plans. I have no agenda. I don't know where God is taking me. In some ways i'm bothered by the idea that I love and miss might not be a part of my future. I know that whatever God has planned for me, he is wiser than I am and His plans are greater than mine.

I just wish I could get a glimpse of what lies ahead of me.

Love it

One of my favorite things about the early church is that they were incarnational at heart. They didn't go to gatherings and then try to build relationships. They were already in relationships and gatherings happened as a result.

That's Beautiful. <3

Birthday's and Good Ideas

Happy Birthday Andrea!!!
Andrea's birthday was on the 15th.

Happy Birthday Josh!!!
Josh, my brother, his birthday is today.

and Happy Birthday me... in 10 days. My birthday is on Black Friday.

On another note:

What a great idea:

"Several Valparaiso churches are banding together in an effort to provide emergency shelter for homeless men. This is a major undertaking, so we began with a ?test run? in February and March of 2008. Now we are taking the knowledge gained from this pilot project and developing a program to run from the beginning of October 2008 to the end of March 2009. Each night, the men are provided with dinner, a place to sleep, breakfast, and a sack lunch. They sign in from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm and leave by 7:00 am. The location rotates among the different host churches, with each church taking one night of the week. This allows us to express hospitality using already existing facilities, while not overburdening any one church. Men in need of housing can simply come to the appropriate site (with ID) to be admitted."

http://www.valpochurches.org/shelter/