Sunday, August 29, 2010

Beauty Analysis?

I am using the internet to tell me how beautiful I am. if you want to torture yourself.

Apparently my eyes are too far apart and my nose is too wide. I laughed as I sat here and read my results to my mom.

It reminds me of a book series I started reading called Pretties. The story line centers around a society where when people turn 16 they have plastic surgery to make them "pretty".  they are all basically made to look the same, but the kids look forward to this day and long for it.  

It's a point of standardized beauty, where certain criteria have to be met. Your nose can only be so big, your eyes should sit only so far apart, your ear to nose ratio has to be just right. If you your proportions aren't symetrical, you are ugly.

Even though I know the book is fiction based (although, I do believe the author is purposely addressing a very real issue in our society), I see this standard of beauty showing up in nearly everything I encounter. I mean, I was just able to do a beauty analysis on my own face, doesn't that say something? 

I guess my question is   Why is symmetry considered beautiful? and who determines what is beautiful anyway?

You, my friends, are beautiful to me, no matter what anyone else says, and I know that God calls me beautiful no matter what else the world may say.

Peace be with you!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


There is an ABC Family series that started a few weeks ago called Huge. It's a series about several people who have found themselves in "Fat Camp". I caught the premiere and decided to watch it for a few episodes to see if I like it or not. Amidst finding myself irritated over one character or another every single episode, I find myself growing increasingly fond of the show. I think its because I find myself emotionally connecting with each episode, and with different characters in different ways. But mostly I look at emotions and events in the show and it seems so real to me. There is real pain, there is real struggle, and there are real failures, successes, and everything.  Let me explain this further:

The most recent episode centered around the first weigh in of the camp season. Undoubtedly an intensely emotional time for everyone.

During the episode, one guy was goofing around and twice got busted by this dictator-like work out insructor. She got in his face, yelled at him, embarrassed him, told him he wasn't trying and asked if he wanted to be there, to which he meekly replied yes.   Ouch.

Several people went to the scales and found out that they had only lost one or two pounds at best.  A few of them specifically were very upset.  "All this hard work and I've only lost one pound?" one asked.  Another asked, "Why is this so hard?" and his friend replied something like "because we've got so much more to go."

Another girl, one of the main characters, Willamina (Will), the obstinate rebel who didn't want to be there to begin with, was very put off, as she has been the entire season, that people are buying into "a load of crap" that worth and beauty are determined by a number on a scale or the size of your waist. She has been very adamant that she should not have to change what she looks like to be acceptable to anyone.

and so on...

I suppose to some people this show is just another sob story, but to others who have spent their entires lives struggling with their weight and the stigma's attatched to them, it's real.  And I absolutely love that there is a series like.

I know my own struggles with my weght have been very trying with a few highs, and many low lows. I'm not into offering excuses for myself, but I guess my hope is that for a moment people like those who tormented me  nd others over our weight our entire lives would see an episode and get a glimpse of what its like, nd then maybe they would have a little mercy.
I know I'm a dreamer, but can you blame me?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Insignificant Prayers

Today I was overcome with sadness because of a conversation I heard at work.   As the kidstop kids and I were heading to the computer lab, I heard the club staff laughing and sharing a story. One of the club staff is an ordained minister and he was telling a story from Church. 

It went something like this: Prayer Request were being taken at church, in the midst of prayers for dying uncle, cancer patients, families suffering divorce, etc, a little girl pipes up and asks for prayer for her cat.

Anyway they were laughing about it and joking about how kids say the darndest things, and passing the duct tape to the parent.

I couldn't help myself, I spoke up and said "Doesn't God care about them all the same?" And the response I got was something like yeah, some people wouldn't see it that way.

I left the conversation at that, but there is so much I wish I would have said, and a few things I am glad I didn't. I know that I was still on the clock during the conversation so I don't know how much I could have said anyway.  But either way, I am saddened by the lack of value placed on a childs prayer.

So we dont pray for animals because there are more important things to pray about?

That is so like us... isn't it?  To prioritize and qualify prayer needs...

Why? By requesting prayer for that cat, that little girl was learning to trust God in all areas of her life, for the 'big things' and the 'small things.'  If we can't trust God with the 'small things' why would we bring the 'big things' to him? Also, who's to say that this cat isn't as important in this little girls life as any member of her family, or a dying cancer patient or distressed family? We all place value on different things.  By saying this kids prayer is not as important anyone elses invalidates not only the childs feelings, but our own God as well. We serve a God who is big enough to handle prayers about all sorts of things, there is no quota, no waiting list to be heard, no order of importance... God hears all of our prayers and He is perfectly capable of answering each and every  one according to His Purposes.

Furthermore Jesus rebuked his disciples for rebuking those who brought their children for Him to lay hands on, and he said in Matthew 19:14 "Let the children come to me. Dont stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."

And another time, when asked who would be the greatest in Kingdom, Jesus replied in Matthew 18: 3-4  "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "

Little children pray and want prayer for 'insignificant' things. Maybe we should all take note.

By the way, if you reply to this, please don't judge or belittle my coworkers, that was not my intentions. It was just an issue that weighed heavy on my heart.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A new month, a new start, as far as I am concerned.  It feels refreshing.
The Porter County Fair has been going on for the past ten days. Today was the last day. I am actually quite glad to be done.  It has been such a long week and a half. I worked at the fair today running the booth for Life Bridge and when I got home I felt like it had been three days since this morning. Today felt like a Monday.

The Church Building flooded just over a week ago. The damage was bad enough that professionals had to come in and tear out the walls as high as four feet. They showed the video during church today (which was at the fair in the Radio One tent). It made me so sad to see the colorful walls torn up. I know that we were planning a remodel soon. I don't know if that included repainting the walls, but it still made me sad.  It's good though, that the insurance is covering the repairs.

On Friday  I went to Deep River Water Park with my cousin Brandy and my coworker and her kids. Brandy got five free tickets and then the people who were planning to go couldn't, so she and I decided to go, but couldn't find anyone else for the other three, so I offered them to my coworker. She and her kids really enjoyed it. It was my first time swimming there. I loved the River thing, but the wave pool looked somewhat lame.

After Deep River, I took Brandy home and headed to Michigan City to hang out with Christine and Naomi.

Saturday we went to the fair, then dinner, then walmart, then home then to the train station so Naomi could go back to Chicago and spend the rest of her time here with her family before she goes back to Chicago. But we missed the train because my GPS had an epic fail. So we stayed at the trainstation until the last train came at 10:22pm.

I want a day to just sleep.

I haven't been to cardinal fitness in a really long time. I think I need to go tomorrow morning, but I don't know if I am going to be motived to get up early enough to go simply because I don't know if I will have the energy.

It seems like a lot of my friends have been having babies. It should't surprise me because this is the time when my friends will be getting married and starting families. They all have the most adorable babies. It's interesting to see how they are so excited about the first pregnancy and posting pictures and belly photos. I am interested in seeing if the trend continues for baby number 2 or 3 and so on.  But it makes me smile that they are so excited. I can hardly wait until I have that kind of excitement in my life.  It's all in God's time though.