Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Tomorrow is......


Friday, November 23, 2007

"The List"

One of the things Professor Brandt (my youth ministry professor) has told my class several times is not to set out looking for the right person to marry, but instead to seek to become the right person. It's profound.
I have a list that contains all the different qualities I want in a husband. The list was large and growing ever more whenever I thought of something else I believed would make a man worthy of my love. It was so petty. I envisioned the perfect, ideal man, and I fully believed I would find him, fall madly in love, get married, and live happily every after. I dreamt in fairytale colors. But love isn't like that. Love is profound and beautiful, but it is sacrifice and selflessness... it is transformational.
I've changed my list. I wrote a new one without looking at the first list to inspire me. I dug into my hearts deepest desires and developed a list that is truly profound (at least to me). It contains only three "qualities" and my heart desires nothing more than what is there.

First, I want a man who has a real and personal relationship with Christ. What a beautiful thing, someone who knows Christ and knows Him intimately. Christ needs to be the foundation and center, not of anything, but of everything. We live and move and breathe for Him.
Second, I want a man whom I can work alongside in ministry. It has been my hearts desire to be 'ezer kenegdo', as God has created me to be. And because I believe very firmly that God has called me to minister to youth, I also believed that the person I marry must be someone with whom my calling can merge with.
Third, I want a man who views me as and treats me as an irreplaceable treasure. And then everything else will fall into place.

Even though I've created this list, I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship at this time. Of course, I have fleeting thoughts about it, and I look forward to maybe being blessed with marriage someday, but I realized how overwhelmed I am right now. It was just this summer that I realized my call to youth ministry and finally feeling like I have a clear and direct purpose for my life gave me the desire and the drive to do really well because I'm taking it seriously. I want to be in my youth ministry classes, and I want to learn the material, and I want the insights and teaching because I want to be effective. If God were to put a man actively into my life, then so be it, but right now I feel like one would be a distraction. I think it's just that I realize that a relationship, especially a dating relationship (since I don't plan to marry before I graduate), would require a lot of me. There is so much I would have to deal with emotionally, physically, spiritually... and I especially don't want to deal with the sexual temptation right now because if I fell to the tempation it could jepordize... everything. Just when I'm so close to graduation and everything. I know it will be a tempation later in life too, but I believe that God is still working on me. And I'm also still working on myself, trying to lost my excess weight and overcome obesity. I have a year and a half before I'm done with college and I'm excited because I have the opportunity to concentrate on other things that I want to do before I get married.

*sigh* Would you believe this entire post started because I was thinking about a person.

Oh well, I'm getting pretty sleepy and it's pretty early in the morning. I'm going to curl up under my blankets and sleep.


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Well, Thanksgiving Break is upon us. I've been waiting for Thanksgiving break for a while. It's nice to be able to relax and not have to worry about getting assignments done for a few days (even though I've been working on my youth ministry HW, but it's work I *want* to do, so theres a difference). The only not so great thing about this moment in time is that I developed a cold. I've got a headache, a nose that is stuffed up and leaky and dry at the same time (however that works), no energy, I'm achy and tired, and so stinkin' restless. But other than that, I am fantastic. Actually, I don't think the cold is as bad as it probably sounds. I hate taking medicine, so mom has me taking Vitamin C because it's something that's more natural and will get to the heart of the virus and not just mask my symptoms.
It's weird, I don't know where in the world I got a cold from. I don't know where I was that I would be exposed to the virus.
I am so excited about being able to go back to Life Bridge. What's even better is that my mom requested Sunday off of work so that she can come with me if she's feeling good. Yay. Christine and I might also hang out on Friday. She wants to go shopping and thinks she might end up in Valpo. I'll be happy to tag along, but I haven't any money to shop with.

Well, I'm bored with this already, so thats all the update for now.


Friday, November 16, 2007

They say a picture is worth a thousand words... Well, I drew a picture today. This is what I drew. Yeah, it's not very big is it? But I like it. I was working with a charcoal pencil and I wanted to do something with contrast. I like the eyes. They are black. Just simply black. I also thought it would be artsy and cool to only draw part of the face. That's okay, the mouth would have been really hard to draw anyway, I kept practicing it with a light pencil and I couldn't get it right, so I just dropped it completely. I do like how it turned out, though there are always things you feel like if you had done them differently the drawing would be better. I wish I could have made it so that the face doesn't look so flat.

Anyway, what thousand words can you come up with by looking at this drawing? What age is this person? What race and nationality? What is the situation? What is the person thinking? Do you see emotion in the eyes? What is the situation? Is it good, is it bad? Does the person understand what is going on? Take these questions and write a story using them. It will be fun.

Anyway. Today was good because it's Friday. (well, I guess it was technically yesterday) I keep thinking I'm going to get the chance to sleep in but that isn't likely. My old boss from when I did housekeeping is getting married, and I was thinking about going to the wedding. I don't really feel like doing much at all though. I just want to relax. Relax and crochet a baby blanket for Hannah's house. I keep thinking about some of the homework I have to do. It's nothing intense. It's actually some really good homework, but I wish I didn't have to do it. Who always wants to do homework? The funny thing is that I do want to do homework right now, but not the homework that I'll have to turn in Monday and Tuesday. Go figure. :-)

I am excited for Thanksgiving break. I am eager to go home and see my family and spend Thanksgiving with them and visit Life Bridge once again. I love that church. When I think critically about churches, Life Bridge Christian Church is the church that I imagine is most like what the church should be.

Well, that's all for tonight.


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Victory in Jesus

Well, I have the intentions of writing every two or three days, but I guess I don't really think much about it lately. They say no news is good news... whatever. I like hearing news even more when it's good news and no news drives me nuts. Anyway, what has been up in my life recently? Well, November is still a great month. I still feel like my world is right side up, although I do wish that I would have planned ahead a little more instead of allowing myself to crash for two weeks. But it shouldn't cause me too much trouble, just a late night or two.
I was trained for data entry, so hopefully this week I'll be able to get in a few extra hours. I've been trying to work at least 10 hours every week so I have about a $100 paycheck every two weeks. It's been a bit of a stretch this semester to try to pay SLE dues and my cell phone bill. That's not including expenses for laundry and toiletries. I also have a few things to buy for my classes, I need to pay Scott a few dollars for buying the CD's for Effective Teaching, I need to pay Kari for ordering my Book for Effective Teaching, I need to pay Naomi my part of the child sponsorship she and Katie and I are doing, I need to buy a 4 inch binder for L&A. If I make about $200 a month Im sure I can get everything I need and maybe be able to save some and do some of the ministry projects I've been wanting to do.
I'm excited about the ministry projects. They're nothing huge, but I want to do them anyway. One of the things I'd like to do is simply to leave a waitress a HUGE tip (like a $50 tip for something that cost $5, or something similar) with a note that says "the greatest among you must be a servant, for who ever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself with be exalted (Mt. 23:11-12). Thanks for humbling yourself and serving us tonight. "
I think one of the things that gets to me about evangelism is that some evangelistics give waiters and waitresses religious tracks instead of a tip. If I were a waitress, that would turn me off to the gospel. I think if you're going to leave a religious track, then you'd better leave a pretty hefty tip, and when I say hefty, I mean HUGE. (for those of you who are wondering, no, I've never been a waitress).
I wonder how long Operation Christmas Child is going to go for because I want to make a shoe box gift, but I have to wait until payday and if it's ending this week, I can't start in until Thursday. It may have to be turned in Friday. I'll have to double check.
Well thats all for today.


Thursday, November 1, 2007

Happy November!
I know it's after 2am, but there's something about it being November that makes me feel good. November is a special month, I can't really tell what it is that makes it special (well, there's Thanksgiving and my birthday, but it's something different than those), but it is.
I had a good night tonight. My heavy work just sort of ended for a moment yesterday. I finished the final assignment for my Saturday seminar. Now I just sit back and hope I passed. Some of the stress from this semester so far is leaving me. Yesterday someone asked me how I was doing, and I sighed and said I was relieved. Then she said it sounds like I've been having a rough semester because every time she's asked me how I'm doing, I sigh, and never tell her I'm doing great. Well, God has sustained me, and I hope that things can get a little easier from here now that I don't have to worry about Saturday Seminar stuff. But that's not to say that the work for the Saturday Seminar was the sole reason for my stress either, because it wasn't.
I've been discovering a lot about myself lately. At least since I've decided to go ahead and pursue a degree in Youth Ministry. (I've not actually made the official switch yet, my major is still Christian Ministry). I really feel like I'm headed in the right direction, I didn't feel that way when I was studying Christian Ministry, although I do not regret taking the time to study it. I think it will help me my future. And I believe the classes I take for Youth Ministry will always be essential no matter what I end up doing or where I end up in my life. But really, I feel like I'm discovering the heart God has given me for ministry, I am not without direction anymore. and I am so happy, even though this is sooooo much work.
Dr. Brandt expects a lot out of us as his students. But I'm not discouraged, I am determined and excited that he will help develop me into an effective youth minister.
I think I'm going to write Josh a letter sometime soon.(youth minister, Josh).
Well, as far as updates go, that's enough for tonight because I am sleepy. I'll tell more later.