Friday, May 17, 2013

Feeling violated

Well, I had two days off of work, which was nice. I feel like i'm getting more opportunities to hang out with my friends now that my schedule is less flexible.  Does that fit the definition of ironic?  Either way, I am pleased.  It's nice to be able to get together with friends once in a while.

Work is.... Okay.   I keep walking up on people masturbating. That has been uncomfortable.  Some of them are simply getting caught by accident, but some of them are doing it to be seen, and that's simply irritating until one of the people that I walk up on tells me later that he "had a really good dream about me last night"...At that point I feel violated.  I can only describe the feeling as being mentally raped.  I can't control what thoughts go through a persons mind, but I can tell you that I will NEVER try to dress or act in a manner to make myself the object of someones lust.  Thats something I just don't want.

But I think what's worse than that is that I found out that it has apparently been a topic of conversation among my COWORKERS of whether or not I am a virgin.  That also makes me feel violated... I've never really had an issue or been embarassed to say that, yes, I am a virgin, in every sense and definition of the word, but to understand that my coworkers have discussed a matter that truly is very personal honestly gives me a sense of feeling violated. How does a person even have a conversation with someone about that?   What do they say to one another?   WHY ARE THEY EVEN INTERESTED IN DISCUSSING IT????  It's probably a good thing that I don't know who all of the people are who have been talking about it...

I don't even know what to think about that....

I want to write more, but I'm really tired, so I think sleep is due.  I'll write again another time.