I cannot shake this feeling of frustration. I feel anger, despair, sadness, hopelessness, a sense of urgency, and a whole mess of other negative emotions and I am saddened because this is not me. This depression is not who I am and it's not who I want to be. I used to be the girl that people would say "you smile too much" to. I used to be the person that people wanted to be around because I was so happy. I miss that person. I want to be her again.

I don't think all if it is my living situation. I think most of it is simply my attitude, but I have no idea what happened that my attitude has gone so sour.

My brother, Eric, watched this tv series called "dead like me", and in the show this girl becomes a grim reaper when she dies and it is her job to escort the souls to where ever they would go. In one episode she refused to take the soul of a little girl because it wasn't fair. And the head reaper guy said she had to because the little girls soul has expired and if she doesn't take it it will, simply put, rot away in the little girl.

Sometimes I feel like that. I feel like my soul has expired and is rotting within me

I know the show isn't real/ I want to be happy again. From the core of me I want to be happy.

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