So, it's been a while since I've written anything on my blog. Maybe I should do that today. I just feel like writing something.
Today... well, technically yesterday now, I guess, I celebrated my birthday. Birthdays and new years always seem to force me to take a moment to reflect on things.
You know, I've now had 29 years to figure things out in my life and I feel just as lost today as I did when I graduated high school nearly 10 years ago. This weekend was supposed to be my 10 year high school reunion. I wanted to go but at the same time the last thing I wanted to do was show people I barely remember how much of a failure I feel I've become.... and how much weight I've gained.
By my own standards (you can debate the influence of my standards on your own time), I wanted a degree, and a career, and a husband, and children... or at least be with child by now. By my own standards, I'm a college dropout, who has yet to demonstrate the ability to hold a job for more than 3 years, dating the first serious boyfriend I've had since 9th grade.... and children? That's not really on the radar yet.
But I'm okay. Don't get me wrong, I'm a little bummed and I have days when I feel like a failure, but I'm still pushing to figure things out, and I think as long as I've got that going on, I will see a day when I don't feel so lost. At least I hope so.