Wednesday, January 20, 2010

And all I can hear is blah blah blah...

I hate packing.  Have I ever mentioned that before? Well, it's true.  I think that probably stems from packing so much during my life. Moving to another house, another school, going to college, coming home again. To me it is overwhelming.  Even when all I have to do is wash my clothes, fold them, and put them in my suitcase.  Overwhelming. It's probably overwhelming because there is a part of me that does not want to leave.

I'm not dreading going back on the road. I'm sure once I get going it will be a welcome change. But I am very comfortable where I am at right now (well, mostly... I'd be better with my own apartment).  I guess the thing is that I've had my grand adventure. I've done my traveling. I don't think it's all out of my system yet, I think I will always be a little wild, but a part of me desires something a little more steady, and... dare I say it?... predictable.

I like going to the same church twice. I like going to the same Bible study every week (I just like going to a Bible study at all!)  This past Monday I brought my friend Rachel to a Bible study group I attend when I'm home. She really liked it. Even though we needed to leave and meet up with Christine (because Christine was taking her home) she wanted to stay longer, and she wants to come back again.  I just feel like if Iwere more permanently in Valpo, I could bring her every week with me.

I know that working for Camfel is pretty much living ministry, but I feel myself being drawn to a more relational ministry where I see the same people over again and can build relationships with them. 

One of the really great things about Camfel is that my first ministry is to my tour partner. That is definitely relational ministry, but it's different than where I feel like I need to be, or will need to be.  I believe whole heartedly that God brought me to Camfel, so I know that I am right where He wants me. In June (ish?) when my contract ends, that may change.  I will definitely work for Camfel again if God wants me to stay.

I really want to get my degree in Youth Ministry and Adolescent Studies.  Part of that could be that I just miss doing homework. I am too weird, I know. I see a whole world of opportunities opening up for me just by getting a degree. I don't think it matters what degree I get. My opportunities seem greater just by having one. But I want the one in Youth Ministry.  I don't know where I will go with that degree... Facilitate a youth ministry... work for a para-church organization... be a dorm mom... continue with Camfel Productions... work at KFC and do living ministry...  I hope all of my ministry is living ministry.

I just want to be effective. It would be nice to see tangible results every now and then... to know that I'm making a difference, to know that people are seeing that God loves them so much and wants to be in a relationship with them... to see people realize that this life is not the end, that something greater exists and they have access to it, not just when they die, but here and now... The Tangible Kingdom...
I don't see the growth of students because I don't usually see them more than once.

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