I've been feeling it coming on for a little while... I feel like I'm changing. Or maybe I'm just getting in touch with who I really am. It's a mystery to me.

Lately, I have noticed that I feel very antisocial most of the time.  Sometimes I just want to get away and be by myself, even if I am doing nothing at all.

I used to thrive on being around people, not so much anymore. I still enjoy being around people, but I've been really valuing and appreciating the times when I am by myself.

It feels calmer... more serene.  I find peace in it.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Maybe that's what it's all about.

I was reading my Bible last night and  I was in Genesis reading through a lot of Abrahams story and I was struck with a realization.  It seemed that it was an honor and a blessing for a guest to stay at your house. This was such a revelation for me because I think a lot of times people look at having a guest either as a burden or an opportunity for ministry. And I think at times it can truly be both.

But what a way to look at hospitality though... Instead of being the blesser or the burdened, it was like a  special privilege to have someone stay with you.

I don't think I have the gift of hospitality, but imagine how amazing it would be to carry that perspective.  Maybe people who have the gift of hospitality do think that way. I don't know. But I think the idea is beautiful.

 I've also been thinking a lot about my role as a guest in people's houses.  I think a lot of times I feel extremely uncomfortable and I feel like a burden. I fear that I will say something or do something that will offend the host.  I think that probably stems back to when I was ten years old. I was at a friends house for a birthday party sleep over and my friends dad looked at me and said "You know what I've noticed about you, you're really rude." 

He later apologized to me for saying it, but I wasn't sure what I had done to offend him, and ever since  I've always felt uncomfortable being a guest in someone's house, especially overnight.

Anyway, I wonder, how I as a guest can make the host feel as though having me in their house was a blessing to them.