I'm not even sure where to begin... Last Thursday my cousin Rebecca talked me into reading the first Twilight book. I've always been skeptical, or perhaps uncaring or indifferent regarding the books. "Oh just another teenybopper lovestory." But now that I've finished reading the first two books I feel this odd connection to the stories. I admit, I was hooked from Chapter one of the first book.
The author, I believe, is a genius. She takes you into the story from the beginning. You connect with the characters in this deeply intense way...Well, maybe. I don't know if it's just me, or if other people actually experience this too, but when I'm reading it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist. I am Bella Swan. OH, not literally, of course. But I am her, I experience her emotion, I hear her thoughts, I feel her pain, I know her confusion, I felt her fear, I love as she loves and I long as she longed. When she felt empty, I did too. When her heart fluttered, mine did too. When she missed Edward, I did too. Her world was my world.
Even now, I have finished book two (New Moon) and I feel emotion...I feel messed up emotionally from feeling the trama described in the book. I don't know what other way to explain this, but even though there was nothing remotely sexual in the books, I can only describe it as emotional pornography. It's like... I'm experiencing emotions I shouldn't feel.
As Bella, I love Edward, but mostly, realistically, I think I'm in love with the idea of romance. The idea of the perfect Romeo and Juliet, the one that doesn't end in tragedy. The idea of being this fragile, beautiful being capable of loving and holding on to love unlike any other being even though I can't see it in myself. Of being loved so wholly and completely loved by the one I'm least worthy of being loved by... By the forbidden one, only found in a fairy tell, someone who 'thirsts' for me in a way deeper than physical. Someone who if he did not love me, would be utterly dangerous to me. Someone who's desire is to protect me. Someone who seeks good despite what he is made to be. That list could probably go on, but truly, it's the idea of Romance, the idea of the person. The idea of the supernatural, of the unbelievable, of what couldn't be real, but is...
And so I was thinking about that. Why do I love the idea of love and romance, or of existing in the midst of the impossible?
Why do you?
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