*that I don't understand theft. A few days ago, two projectors were stolen from the church and this morning someone stole my brother's (Josh) moped. I kept thinking 'why would they steal his moped? Don't they realize that his moped is his only source of transportation? Don't they realize that he's not even done paying for it yet? Don't they know what they're doing to my brother?' But then the thought occured to me. Of course they don't realize it, but even if they did, they wouldn't care. Understanding the situation wouldn't change anything... and my heart broke for humanity. I don't understand theft. I just don't get it.
*that I'm afraid to be alone in my room this semester. I'm okay that both of the people I was supposed to room with have decided not to return to Bethel, but I don't think either one of them called to inform Bethel. Bethel hasn't sent me anything in regards to new roommates or new living situations. If they didn't notify Bethel that they're not returning, that means Bethel won't assign me new roommates, probably until next semester. I suppose the thought of having my own room should be exciting, but I lived alone for about 12 weeks my freshman year. It has some great perks, but I also know how quickly it gets lonely.
*that if I could go back and change anything about my internship this summer, one of my top priorities would be to change how I related to my field supervisor. I need to talk to him about it. Maybe. We'll see.
*that I'm not ready to return to Bethel. I don't know why. It could be that this will be my fifth year. It could be that everything hasn't fallen into place the way it has in the past four years. It could be that I'm concerned about possibly living alone, or about all my friends having graduated. It could be that I've lost financial aid, and I don't know how I'm going to pay for all my schooling. Maybe it's... It could be any number of things.
Today is one of 'those' days. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, but what for? What reason do I possibly have to be overwhelmed? I'm being serious.
God, when you give my heart dreams, is that all they are? Or is there something tangible to look forward to?
poo, I'm out.
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