Mission Impossible

I think my theme for this year will be "Mission Impossible". I've never actually given my year a theme, this will be the first, but I think it m ight be a good idea. I have a lot of goals this year (NOT resolutions, goals) and to be completely honest, some of them seem impossible, so Mission Impossible seems like a good theme, my theme verse will be Mark 9:23 "Everything is possible for him who believes", and my ringtone on my phone is the mission impossible theme song, so every time someone calls me I will be reminded of my theme, verse, and goals. Having said that, I should probably mention what my goals are. They are:

* To lose 100 pounds in 1 year.

On my birthday I was sitting at my computer watching a youtube video that a woman made with her own goal to lose 100 pounds in 1 year and I did the calculations and I realized it's completely possible! I would only have to lose two pounds a week. Even though I know it's possible, it seems so impossible because I started this on my birthday and I've had no physical progress, so I thought that since a new year has rolled around, January 1 would be my new start day. The past month hasn't been a complete waste though. I've created a plan and I've been putting it into action. I've also been able to do a ton of research on how to go about doing this, and what small life changes I need to be making.

I've been overweight my entire life (not as much as I am now though...) and as thrilled as I am to be able to work toward this goal and as determined as I am, and as much as I believe it's possible, it feels like for me it's not possible because I've been dieting and watching my weight my entire life and it's just been a battle that I have not been able to win. But today I've called in a new captain (Jesus, yay!) and He will be my strength and my hope and He will lead me to victory.

*To memorize the entire Bible.

No, I am not going to try to memorize the entire Bible in one year, that's one of my life goals. The actual goal inside of this is to memorize one of the gospels as a way of working toward my life goal. I figured I would start with the book of John because: 1. I love the book, 2. I know it well because I did Bible quizzing on the book of John. A lot of it will be review. 3 It's the gospel used most to explain Salvation.

Last semester there was a chapel speaker who said that he had studied in Israel and word had gotten out that he didn't have the entire Old testament memorized and one of the native Israelites who was also studying at the university asked him how he expected to follow his master if he didn't know what his master said. The speaker said that the students question hit him hard, and it hit me pretty hard as well. I'm always studying the Bible and reading it and learning what it says, and I know my way around the Bible pretty well, but not well enough. You know what, you never know what might happen in this life. The 'end times' are inching ever closer, prophecies have been set into motion and are being fulfilled, I am watching this world spiral into Armageddon. Christ may return at any time, the final battle is coming, but we don't know for sure what will happen before He does. Before Christ returns the world may end up going to hell in a handbasket, we may lose our religious freedom, I may not be able to look up a Bible verse when I need to someday, but if I hide God's word in my heart I will be prepared.
Then we could also say that by memorizing all of Scripture I am practicing sword fighting (Ephesians 6:17, Take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God... Hebrews 4:12, the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double edged sword...) I have so much more I could say about this, hehe.

*To learn to become an effective Youth Minister.

This is a toughie because my training is going to take over a year, but I want to continually press toward the goal because I finally know why I am here. I finally know what God designed me for and I just want Him to be able to use me to make a real impact for His kingdom. Since I am declaring a new major in my senior year of college, there is a lot that I am trying to squeeze into the next year and a half in order to be able to graduate in Spring of 2009. I was talking with the youth minister at Life Bridge today (Josh) and I might be doing an internship at Life Bridge with the Youth Ministry this summer. I am really excited about it, and I really hope it works out so I can, but at the same time I am scared to death. I already gave a message at Amped, an lets just say that I am embarrassed at my teaching. Argghhh! I'm not smart enough, I'm not Christ-like enough. People have no reason to look up to me, or recieve from me, I'm not that well liked. I'm just simply not enough. I feel inadequate, weak, and foolish. Wow. I'm the perfect candidate for God to use, huh? Ephesians 4:1 says to live a life worthy of the calling we've recieved. I'm hardly worthy of it.

But I guess God actually has a history of using the weak and foolish and those who just don't measure up. 1 Corinthians 1:27-31 says:

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God--that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

But I guess that just goes to verify what God says in 2 Corinthians 12:19: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"

And even though I know this, I still want to be worthy of the calling, I want to be adequate, I want to be useable; and even though I don't feel that way now, I know that I can trust in Phillipians 1:6: "...Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ"

I believe very firmly that God has had a hand on me since day 1 of my existence and that He has protected me and carried me through fire holding me close to His heart, even when I didn't know it. And I don't believe he's done with me yet.

...

Well, I guess I went off on a couple of tangents, and seeing that it's almost 3 am, I'm beginning to feel tired, so I'm going to cut this short and sign off.